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I Got a Mustache

from Zeroth Law demos by Fucktuplets

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    "Only" 100 made. Five bucks, PPD (US obvi). Also side two is just the first side but different so if that sounds shitty to you let me know and I'll record a song about almost anything you want and put it on there instead. Actually now that I think about it you could order like twelve tapes and have an entire custom album and I know you think that's sweet but please don't do it mom

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lyrics

I got a mustache
I put it on my face
I used to be an imberbic geek
But now my snout doth sniff with grace
You lucky fucker! How nice must it be
Riding on the nosetails of a classy fuck like me
I’ve got a booger bush that could suffocate Sam Elliott
I know you know it looks good, just imagine fuckin smelling it

Every day I dedicate to cultivate this mass
Of attention seizin, pooty pleasin, naughty nasal grass
I accessorize with a topiarized two gun salute that shoots cockeyed
Then I take aim and blow some minds, heads exploding left and right
So listen when your lip’s like, “Grow me! Grow me!”
Then tell the barber that you know me
You’ll get a frowny macaroni with a theme by Morricone
Gonna ‘splode like Nakatomi when you can show me an Iommi, Romeo!
Me, I’m a roaming omi
Owning every look I’m growing
Pwning phonies that phone it in
With wack nineties Trebek baloney
Facial fins like a villain, silent killer, hypertension
Pressure’s on!
Pulses race when I show my furry face
Cuz for me it’s more than fashion, it’s a motherfuckin passion
Mustachin
Part the curtains, let the gash in

credits

from Zeroth Law demos, released March 12, 2019

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