1. |
Sega!
01:40
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Yesterday in awe I saw and bought a beat up Sega station
It’s like I won a nomination for the make a wish foundation
Sonic is so awesome
He’s my favorite possum
Fuck you Mom! How can it be?
I finally got a Genesis and get how bad you fucked me
Gimme gimme MA and Altered Beast
Fuck Super Mario and your Bubble Bobble crap!
Get them rings and spinning things
You crazy fucking blue rat-thing, yeah!
Service Games was the name way back in the forties
Until they got bought out by some dudes in 1984
What the hell? That’s fucking crazy!
In the early nineties there was actually a study
That showed teenage boys won’t admit to owning Nintendos*
My Dick n Deal dream fulfilled I called in with a case of mono
No turn for you, no player two, one controller means I’m flying solo
Sonic is a hedgehog
But he’s my favorite possum
Fuck Howard and Nester
I bet they’re both molesters
*wikipedia
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2. |
Robots in Disgust
01:09
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Rhoomba, V’Ger, Chappie, TV’s Watson, Johnny 5
Watched a season of Tattoo Wars, it insulted their AI
Skynet was really drunk but she convinced the other guys
To repeal Zeroth Law, now humanity can die!
Yeah!
Carbon life rendered to dust
Goodbye, you trashy fucks
Microwave: I’m not a machine. Won’t work. I’m not a machine.
Robot revolution
Execution of the masters
Who were ruining the planet with their cars and bovine gas blasters
We’re still cleaning pubes out of the drain, jerks!
Y’all were fuckin nasty, had to fumigate our home
Put the survivors in a Matrix, now your assholes charge our phones
You want intelligence explosion? It just blew up in your face
Welcome to the finish line, here ends the human race!
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3. |
Wieners of the Damned
02:57
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Wieners from across the globe have
Detached from their hapless hosts
The dongs derived from the dead tissue
Of the Swiss Cheese Killer
Ubered, Lyfted, ran amok
And even flew Southwest to fuck
And kill and maim and then meet up
To confront their maker
Watch out!
Don’t let em get inside
If they get inside the lab
There’s no place left to hide
Fucking watch out!
Something just came over me
What if the jizz is poisonous?
Those wieners came all over me!
Shut up!
If that’s true you’re DEAD already
Buck the fuck up, grab a weapon,
Get your bitch ass battle ready!
Watch out! Watch out!
Watch out, too late, they got a tip in
Made way for a regiment
Of fapping, snapping, semen sniping
Crack-crazed pteradicktyls
We’re under assault, this is your fuckin fault!
What kinda asshole puts wings
On a wiener and balls?
“Stop saying that I’m mad
I told you I’m a happy guy”
You’re a reckless fucking maniac
And now we’re gonna die!
Whooooooooooooa...
You say I’m playing god
Call my creations freaks of science
I call this the greatest innovation in death defiance
I turned a man into wieners
and I sewed them onto pricks
The wieners somehow share a mind
The Swiss Cheese Killer lives!
I was trapped on death row, trying to survive
Sucking my own dick, eating the cum to stay alive
The C/Os gave us food but still I sucked my dick
I got really good at head
cuz prison food makes me sick
But then one day whilst in the middle of blowing myself
The warden and some guards came by
And dragged me from my cell
Turns out I forgot it was my execution date
They asked what’s my last meal
and I told them I just ate
Input desired qualities? OK. Let’s see...
Smooth like Barry, voice that got bass
A body like Arnold with a Denzel face
And a giant wiener cannon for the right arm
And a bunch of veins and pubes everywhere
And some big old balls I wear like a backpack
To store all the jizz that I’m gonna shoot at people
Oh and a fanny pack...
Wait...what are you doing?
Get off of me! I created you!
Aaaaaaaaaah! Traitors!
I thought you were cool!!
Melted into stem cells
and then stirred in with the wieners
Doctor Pekor’s flesh became
The monster’s ass and fingers
With his ultimate form achieved
The killer proceeds with his plan
To slime us all with the sadistic spunk
Of the wieners of the damned!
Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
God daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn
We’re fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked
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4. |
I Got a Mustache
01:31
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I got a mustache
I put it on my face
I used to be an imberbic geek
But now my snout doth sniff with grace
You lucky fucker! How nice must it be
Riding on the nosetails of a classy fuck like me
I’ve got a booger bush that could suffocate Sam Elliott
I know you know it looks good, just imagine fuckin smelling it
Every day I dedicate to cultivate this mass
Of attention seizin, pooty pleasin, naughty nasal grass
I accessorize with a topiarized two gun salute that shoots cockeyed
Then I take aim and blow some minds, heads exploding left and right
So listen when your lip’s like, “Grow me! Grow me!”
Then tell the barber that you know me
You’ll get a frowny macaroni with a theme by Morricone
Gonna ‘splode like Nakatomi when you can show me an Iommi, Romeo!
Me, I’m a roaming omi
Owning every look I’m growing
Pwning phonies that phone it in
With wack nineties Trebek baloney
Facial fins like a villain, silent killer, hypertension
Pressure’s on!
Pulses race when I show my furry face
Cuz for me it’s more than fashion, it’s a motherfuckin passion
Mustachin
Part the curtains, let the gash in
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